Cpt. Smurf

Personally, i feel that prologues should be short and to the point, something to do with the character/event, but not directly using the character/event. I, personally, would not give a ...

I think this has good potential, but the whole thing needs editing. Firstly, you could try putting spaces between the paragraphs - it makes it so much easier to read. ...

Hey, welcome to YWS! I haven't got a clue bout the display pic, mine doesn't show up either :?

Hi! I've completely re-written this part, the first draft was just a lot of nothing, really. Please comment, and tell me how to improve! Fero - Fear-Oh * * * ...

I thought this was really good, and well thought out. My only real complaints are that i don't think you've captured Sirius or Remus in the way that they are ...

Overall, i thought this was good. There were a few things that were unnecessary, so i will review those. The dragon screeched and roared, fire mimicking its opposite forms flesh ...

Now, i do not usually like poetry. Some poems bring tears to my eyes out of boredom (ok, slight exaggeration, but you get the picture). This, however, i found quite ...

Hi! I thought you're story was good, despite the fact i'm not really into that sort of stuff. Wait for that moment between heartbeats, where everything is perfectly still, all ...

Hi! I thought the idea behind it was good, but you could have written it a bit better. Hopefully you'll be able to put your better version on! ‘Addie, Addie, ...

I hate Big Brother, yet I thought this was very good. I actually want to find out what happens while they're in the house! The dispute between the two women ...

Hi! This is my first submission, so please be kind! Criticise on whatever you want; did you find it boring, over descriptive, etc. Ignore things such as spelling, though. I'm ...

Really good!! I found both second and third parts the more readable, they seemed more interesting and funny!! It's fun to twist things from the books, as if they're in ...

I thought it was good, I like the way you introduced a completely new character to the HP world, who, by the way, really is a nasty piece of work! ...

Hi! My name's Kyle, and I've just joined - found the site on a google search! I write mostly fantasy, it's definitely my favourite genre. I don't particularly like poetry, ...